What happen to me???

Slept early... but toss n turn the whole night... Even if i'm asleep i can't sleep well... Keep having nightmares.... *sigh* too much stress? I guess so... plus dar dar at by my side miss him so much so much.... the whole week didn't see him already... =(((((((((((

Evening thought he can book out so i thought of popping out when he called me... but too bad... waited for almost 3hrs still no news from him... Guess he can't book out again... So sad... Cannot see him again... So i went home... Miss him Miss him Miss him..... =(((((((( Nvm... he booking out tmr.. So i can see him tmr le... =)))))) can't wait....

Feeling so bad recently... Stop going yoga... want to terminate my contract... the idiotic consultant of mine forge my signture on the application form to my Giro account... He really damn dumb loh... now he lost his job.... serve him right... but i wanted to terminate the membership... Such a big company yet allow such things happen... tsk tsk tsk..... make so much trouble for me.... stress stress n more stress.... damn it!!!!! Think i'm really going crazy soon... doctor suggest me to go see psychiatrist... maybe i really should... mummy n dar also realise my mood n temper n action like all wrong.... bad tempered.... mood swing to the extend... this min laugh, next sec i can low mood then next min cry.... dun want talk after crying i ok again..... First time got drunk then talk nonsense... second time drunk till i dunno wat happen still need dar come down to bring me home.... *sigh* wat happen? start pinching myself... start punching things using fist juz to make myself feel pain.... Ahhhhh!!!!!!! i also dunno wat i'm doing... i only know i stop talking.... stop communicating.... but start grumbling... i'm like in my own world... i can feel that but i dunno how to stop it.... i cannot stop imagining things n start crying.... i think i really need help.... try thinking positive no longer effective on me... look for someone to talk to also no longer effective for me.... cos i really close myself up..... probably i really need to seek help from a psychiatrist... i can't even work now... all i want is to run away from everything n hoping everything will keep away from me..... =(((((((((

hope dar dar come home soon... hope his reservist end fast..... i need him.... i feel safer that way....